A few weeks ago, A Quiet Place told me that I should every now and again, give the horror genre a chance; That it’s not all fart boxes and dog poop; That there are gems to be found even in a genre that I simply do not like. Truth or Dare is a stern reminder of exactly why I contemplate crashing my car every time I’m on my way to a horror movie. Guys, this movie stinks.
Truth or Dare is another horror movie birthed by Blumhouse, a production company which for the most part does no wrong. Every year Blumhouse releases a string of horror movies, some of which are great — Split, Get Out — some of which are decent — The Belko Experiment, The Purge — and some of it involve teenagers and their angst — Happy Death Day.
Despite being a horror movie revolving around a silly game, the concept itself isn’t the issue. In typical Blumhouse fashion, the premise is pretty cool. We follow a group of college kids.
Introducing…
- Nice girl
- Nice girl’s slutty bff
- Nice girl’s biff’s boyfriend who’s kinda into the nice girl
- A douche who’s a douche for the sake of douching out cause douche.
- Douche’s alcoholic girlfriend
- Second, less handsome douche, who’s not really in the gang
Yeap, it’s pretty much every teen angst horror bullshit you’ve seen before. Except, holy shit plot twist, there’s no black guy in their gang whose sole existence is to fill up a quota and then die first. Oh wait, I forgot. The quota is filled by — wait for it — GAY ASIAN DUDE. You can’t get more woke than that. #2018baby
This gang of friends decide to spend their last night of spring break in Mexico. While partying at a bar, they meet Carter, a total stranger, who convinces them to follow him to an abandoned building, because y’know that’s where the cool kidz hang these days. Carter suggests they play truth or dare and this is where the weirdness begins. When it’s his turn, Carter picks ‘truth’ and reveals that he lured them there and nudged them to play the game as he’s comfortable with other people dying if it means he gets to live. Before he bolts out of the building, he tells the nice girl, Olivia that they have to adhere to the rules of the game and keep playing if they want to stay alive.
Truth or Dare starts off interesting, as characters are forced to reveal deep dark secrets about themselves and each other, putting their friendship to the test and leaving them to wallow in a pool of shame. Olivia has a crush on her best friend’s boyfriend, but has suppressed her feelings for the longest time. The game dares her to have sex with the guy — will she do it? The alcoholic is forced to walk on the ledge of a roof while drinking an entire bottle of booze.
Watching the trailer, I thought this was going to be a crappier version of the crappy Final Destination franchise. But as I was sitting through the movie, I found myself surprisingly hooked. No, it wasn’t Citizen Kane, but at the very least it seemed like director Jeff Wadlow crafted something genuinely interesting. One where the emotional depths of these characters are explored, tough decisions are made, truths are spilled, true personalities are revealed and in the process, they find themselves.
Oh, wait… no, no.
Silly me. I was too quick to jump the gun. The interesting stuff only happens in the first half or so of the movie. After that, it devolves into testicles, post-Vasectomy. Truth or Dare goes from a fun and light character study to Final Destination (without the gory death sequences) + typical demon nonsense. Do we need to know about the demon? Nope. Do the teenagers need to avoid cops, become investigators and figure out a convoluted method to beat the game? F**k no. This movie works best when its focus is on this group of assholes, uncovering each other’s dirty secrets. Not to mention there’s a whole stupid explanation on why characters can’t keep picking truths.
Truth or Dare also takes itself way too seriously. This movie would’ve benefited from a Riverdale sort of vibe. Riverdale is the most ridiculous show on the planet right now, where teenagers get entangled in decade-long family rivalries revolving MAPLE SYRUP, young girls are held hostage by NUNS and a sexy cheerleader is also a MOBSTER. It makes zero sense, but it works because it knows what it is and hams everything up. The teen angst is dialed to eleven and characters walk down staircases in slow motion, while catchy pop music plays in the background. It’s fun and it has a lot of heart. Truth or Dare should’ve been that. But it plays itself too seriously while the most nonsensical things are happening.
I guess Truth or Dare isn’t the worst horror movie I’ve seen. But that’s mostly because the first 30 minutes of the movie is actually pretty intriguing, also because there are very attractive human beings in this movie and sometimes they PG-13 makeout. In other words, I don’t care and don’t waste your money. Go watch A Quiet Place again.
